Now it's April.

Only a few short months until we're overrun by pale, flabby tourists with ice cream stains all down the front of their clothing who smell like suntan lotion and are leading an onslaught of children who are trained far worse than my dogs.

But it's not all awesome.

There will no doubt be horrific incidents like this one:

Mr. Maine
I was minding my business at the end of the bar at the Newagen Inn and two older ladies sat next to me and ordered cocktails. They were joined a bit later by an obviously urban-sophisticated gentleman who always seemed to have a condescending half-smile.

They chatted a bit and then he went to use the restroom.

One of the ladies leaned to the other and confidentially said, "He knows Maine quite well. He's been here six times."

Bedazzled
And there's this little gem when I was in the Southport General store years ago, chatting with Oliver about nothing.

A summer resident crashed through the door and power-walked herself into the store with a bedazzled, wide-eyed friend in tow.

Powerwalker strode past us and raised her hand curtly- like an abbreviated Nazi salute and said rapidly, "HiOliver,HiJanet,HiDon,HiSam..." She looked straight ahead and whisked past us to the wine room out back.

It was obviously Bedazzled's first time in the Boothbay region, or probably outside Lymphnode Massachusetts for that matter. And she was clearly impressed with Powerwalker's casual treatment of the natives in the face of the bewildering local customs.

Bedazzled smiled and said "Hi" to us as she slowly made her way after Powerwalker. She looked all around the store in wonderment-- amazed that such things as General Stores still existed in the world outside Lymphnode.
Oliver leaned into me. He whispered,

"Who the hell was that?"

I shrugged my shoulders, rolled my eyes and made for the door with my breakfast pizza.

Just wait until Powerwalker showed Bedazzled the breakfast pizza, I thought.

--Don (Not a Dog)

This little tidbit was wrestled from our massive April newsletter “The Salty Paws.” If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t have a lot to do employment-wise, why not fritter and waste away your day guffawing like a jughead by clicking here: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-april-2023-7226064

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