Dear Editor,

As I write this letter it has been three years since leaving my abuser. Shortly after leaving, I had to sell my home and leave Boothbay Harbor. Leaving behind friends, family and my job. Luckily, I was able to do some work from home and settle in another community less than an hour away. I still visit the Harbor regularly.

But leaving was bittersweet. During my 20 years of living in the Harbor with my abuser, no one ever saw what was happening. He hid it well. His manner of abuse was coercive control. This insidious form of abuse happens slowly over time. The victim is lied to, gaslighted and manipulated. There are no bruises or broken furniture. There is only the victim alone and confused, not knowing what the truth is or what was completely fabricated.

After leaving, I discovered that my entire perception of my life was a lie. Nothing was what it seemed. Even after three years, I still look back and uncover the lies and deceptions. I was able to leave with help from New Hope Midcoast (https://newhopemidcoast.org) and now I am learning to tell my truth with help from Finding our Voices (https://findingourvoices.net) .

If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, reach out to someone. These organizations can help you learn the different forms of abuse. There is support for victims or just someone to talk to. An abuser’s worst fear is an educated victim.

Lisa C. Perry

Richmond