Dear Editor:

Did you ever wonder where the line was between anger and hate? What causes hate? Does hate of others come from hate of self? Lately our country seems immersed in hate-filled crimes of killing the innocent. The only salvation seems to arrive in time of love with stories like that of a 4-year-old boy, Alex, who made a promise to his dying sister and out of love kept that promise all the way through high school.

Often, the birth of hate comes from a lack of love in early life. The first signs of self-hate comes in a lie. A person who confessed they lied to almost everyone because: “I had no real convictions of my own, no beliefs beyond I am bad.” Others lie lacking good character, but people with self-hate lie because they are ashamed of their perceived badness.

Self-hate that generates a lie is followed by an apology that begins and ends with “sorry.” We hear sorry, but inside the speaker, he means “Sorry I exist.” There are books and treatments that can help self-haters to stop these feelings.

There are seven clues that your friend is a self-hater and we just discussed the first two. The third is being indecisive. To choose is to say your preference is more important than another, so it often ends with “I don’t care.” The seventh clue is they always assume the worse.

Hate is often on a self-destruct path, so those who were brought into a world of love and kindness are in mental and often emotional pain, seeking a reminder of love in their lives. Even though Alex, the 4-year-old boy, had not been in school, he had grown up in a family who loved him and his sister was his best friend. How do you keep a best friend alive when she is dying? You make a promise to follow her footsteps in school. The bond between the two could not be broken. His sister was awarded for perfect attendance before she died. Alex promised to do the same. He turned down Disneyland to keep his promise.

When hateful things happen, remember there is always room for love.

Jarryl Larson

Edgecomb