Pigette stands alone,
Watching snow plows cover her,
Spring can’t come too soon.

With all that is going on in Washington and the bitter TV battle being waged for and against Sen. Susan Collins, I thought it might be time to stop for a chat with Ms. Pigette.

As she holds up her mailbox beside Route 27 a mile or so west of the famed Boothbay roundabout, she sees all. And with her longstanding regional fame, she has collected a vast list of inside tipsters. The bottom line: She hears more political gossip than Dawn Gilbert, and she loves to chat.

I stopped by her driveway to check her out and found she was nearly encased in a solid block of ice from her toes to nose. Attempts to talk to her were rewarded with a muffled rant that reminded me of the gentle voice used by my Marine Corps drill instructor. It was loud enough, but somehow the only thing I could make out was the phrase "call me."

Don't ask me to explain how she has a smartphone, but I dialed her up and, after about 10 or so attempts, she answered with a rant. “No, I don't want to take another survey designed to change my mind on vaccination, the president, or Sen. Collins. I do not want to talk about insurance. I do not want to talk to the Microsoft refund department, and I damn sure don't want to talk to or about the Nigerian Prince," she snarled. Then she paused for a moment, took a deep breath and crooned "Good afternoon, old news guy. Why haven't you called lately? Don't you love me anymore?"

I told her I loved her and wondered if she had any inside scoop on the impeachment of the president and the Collins campaign.

“How much time you got," she answered.

"Look, you know what I think about impeachment. It is a remedy designed by the founding fathers to check an out of control executive. It is not to be used just because some politician thinks POTUS is a loudmouthed dope. It is not to be used because you object to his policies, and it is not to be used for routine political purposes.

I know, I know, that was what was done in 1998 when Bill Clinton was impeached for a personal matter involving a revolting assignation with a young staffer.
Impeachment is supposed to be used for an offense against the nation like it was for Richard Nixon and Watergate. I know he was not impeached but resigned when senior Republican senators told him he would lose.

Andrew Johnson was impeached after he tried to reverse the results of the Civil War that ended slavery and attempted to establish civil rights for the former slaves. He was acquitted by just one vote.

"OK, I got the history lesson," I said. "What is going to happen? Will this president be kicked out of office?”

Ms. P paused for a minute and said: "I don't think so, given the politics of the Senate, but the real answer is: Nobody knows for sure."

Why," I asked.

“Because the Senate is on the spot. If they try to push through a quick acquittal, they could be accused of a coverup. You mentioned Susan Collins. She and the other senators are really on the spot. For the first time in recent memory, each senator won't be able to dodge the question or change the subject or say I can't recall. They will be forced to cast a very public vote on each issue.

And their votes will be on the record, so it is unlikely they will be able to escape the attention of the public. And I will let you in on a secret. Senators don't like it, one bit. For no matter what they vote, it will irritate at least half their constituency. Remember Rule One: A politician's main job is to get elected. Anything that threatens their time in office is to be avoided like a spring rip tide at Popham Beach. Voting on a hot button topic, like impeachment, is a significant threat to their jobs.

As for Sen. Collins, she won by wide margins in her last three races and has brought a lot of bacon back home (to BIW), but this time she faces a well-financed challenger in Sara Gideon. The national pundits say the race is a toss-up.

Look for her race to be waged in the middle of a presidential campaign that has all the class of a frat boy food fight. As for the Collins senate race, look for a bitter and costly campaign with candidates and supporters tossing tons of mud.

Welcome to politics 2020.