I recently got a message from a faithful reader known as the Duchess of Day’s Ferry. She wondered why, given the election season, I was ignoring Ms. Pigette.

Many readers and summer visitors know Ms. Pigette is a fashion icon who stands outside of town beside Route 27 holding a mailbox as she gathers public opinion on various topics ranging from the price of lobsters, possible school construction projects, and the effects of legal weed on the former thriving underground economy.

Well, Duchess, I wondered too. Does it seem Ms. P either doesn’t deem it important to call an old scribbler, or something has happened, like the rest of us, to impair her mental capacity?

So, I drove over to her post hoping it was the former, rather than the latter. As usual, she delivered me a dressing down and, as usual, an earful. In the interest of preserving the family nature of my favorite newspapers, the Boothbay Register and Wiscasset Newspaper, I will refrain from her explicit and pointed language.

Here is what she said: “Well, stupid **X!##, why have you not bothered to stop by and chat? Have you lost your **$#!XX marbles along with the rest of your physical being? I know when men get older, they no longer perform at the level they once performed, although in your case, that is questionable too,” she said.

“Now, I am told by my sources that Lady Veep has closed the gap and is now running even and, in some cases, ahead of Grandpa Don in many states. Why have you not written about this fact?

“Although our family expenses are way too high, gas prices are falling. Is that fact worth a mention? Is inflation going south?

“Why don’t you mention the growing number of women and former GOP stalwarts migrating to her campaign?

“And why, for Pete’s sake, have you not mentioned the endorsement by Taylor Swift ?”

“OK. I get it. Yes, Ms. P, I am an old man. Like the other surviving members of the high school class of 1959, my old body and even older mind do not perform like a new Corvette. It is a fact of life. I get it.

“If you can remember, five years ago, I asked whether we should elect a president in his mid-70s. The debate last June showcased Grandpa Joe., now 81. The one on Sept. 10 spotlighted Grandpa Don, 78.

“Do you think a pair of old dudes who fumble during important political speeches can be, should be, trusted with the car keys, much less the keys to nuclear war? Think about that one for a moment.

“As for the Lady Veep, who is 59, and in the polls, yes, she has shown some movement, but both candidates are still even. Remember, they are merely opinion polls, not the holy writ. Don’t get your undies in a bunch over some early polls. The only poll that counts takes place on Nov. 5

“As for inflation, maybe it is shrinking. Gas prices are going in the right direction. AAA says the average price in Maine is $3.223 a gallon. Last year, it was $3.826. The price is lower in some southern states, like Mississippi, where the average is $2.76 a gallon.

“Let’s hope this translates into lower heating oil prices this winter. It looks like the Federal Reserve might lower interest rates. Both might help the family budget.

“As for Republicans jumping off Grandpa Don’s campaign, you have the Cheneys, Dick and Liz, and some others, including Mike Pence, his former vice president, and a gaggle of his former cabinet members pledging to support the Lady Veep, but will this translate to the ballot box? Who knows?

“Now, to the important stuff. The Taylor Swift endorsement.

“Again, who knows? She has millions of fans, and when she urged them to register to vote, some 300,000 plus said they would do so. Will it translate into actual votes? I have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine.

“After the latest debate, some Fox Network experts suggested Grandpa Don could have done better. One respected GOP pollster suggested he was done for. I doubt that. But Grandpa Don could have avoided the bit about the cats and dogs that was quickly debunked by other Republican hometown officials.

“It demonstrated that Lady Veep was not stupid (as her opponent claimed), had command of the issues, and had an engaging personality.

“As the campaign progresses, it seems this election is keyed on the candidates themselves and not on their litany of muddy, fuzzy policies and conflicting, confusing political claims.

“We are electing a leader to the toughest job in the world. That world is home to evil and unstable folks who don’t like the USA. The White House is not a senior living facility.

“Both Taylor Swift and basketball star Caitlin Clark urged us to research the issues and personalities, then to register and vote. That is good advice for us all.

“And, my porcine pal, remember that what you see on your social media sites is not always true. It is not reality.”