Back when Mike Bailey became a single dad, he tried to save money by using cloth diapers. “Apparently I used too much bleach in the diaper pail,” Bailey said. “When I lifted the lid, smoke came billowing out and the diapers were like tissue paper.”

Since 1997, Bailey has had sole custody of his three children. At that time, his youngest son, Benjamin, was just a year old; Seth was six and Allison was eight. Over the past 16 years he carried out the nurturing that most of us get from our mothers – and what we get from our fathers.

In fact, his children often remember him on Mother’s Day. “Not that my mother is a bad person, but she just isn’t around so my sister and I usually chip in and get him a little something, be it a card or baked goods,” Seth Bailey said. “Last year got him a Roko entertainment device.”

“One year, as a joke, I bought him a chick flick,” said Allison Bailey, now 24.

When Bailey began his single-parent role, he was working the midnight to 8 a.m. shift at Shaw’s. He had to change shifts immediately. He said he couldn’t afford a babysitter and decided to look for a roommate. “I knew I couldn’t cover everything alone and needed another adult in the house,” Bailey said.

As it turned out, his co-worker, recently divorced with a son, needed a place to stay, so the two families lived together for several years. One father worked third shift, the other worked second; and they watched each other’s children while the other one worked.

Bailey has been with Shaw’s for 32 years and is currently working at the Wiscasset store. “That in itself says something about my dad,” Allison Bailey said.

Bailey said that the biggest challenge he had to overcome was his mindset. “I remember thinking 'I can’t do this,'” he said.

Bailey was faced with the reality of working 40 hours a week, plus grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, cooking, doctor’s appointments, school activities, etc. More than he thought he could handle. “You find out you are stronger than you think you are.”  

Bailey said there were days when not everything got done. “But we survived,” he said.

The father of three has always loved to cook. But Bailey said he didn’t want to spend all his time cooking. So he kept it simple. Sometimes he would get frustrated when he would go to make a meal and discover that kids had eaten some of the ingredients before he could use them in a recipe.  

Bailey has always prepared the traditional holiday meals for his family. His daughter said that, although he taught her to cook, she can’t be in the same kitchen with him. “He measures everything. I like to eyeball things,” she said.

“If you can’t cook or do laundry, you are at someone else’s mercy,” he tells his sons.

Twenty-two-year-old Seth Bailey said that the most valuable lesson he learned from his dad was responsibility to family and hard work. “He’s the type of guy that would give you the shirt off his back if you had nothing,” he said.

No doubt the teen years are the toughest, Bailey said. “I think my kids survived because I lost my hearing and couldn’t hear them mouthing off.”

When it comes to his daughter, Bailey admits to being protective and never wanted her to wear tight jeans or short skirts.  He said it wouldn’t surprise him if she hid a change of clothes in her backpack and changed later.

Bailey recalled a time when Allison and her mother were supposed to come up with a dress for a formal dance, but plans fell through. So it was left up to dad. He told his daughter he would be happy to help her look for a dress. “It will go all the way to the floor,” he told his daughter.

Many of the guys Bailey has worked with over the years thought he had it made because he was single, until they realized he was raising three children. Then wondered how he was doing it.

“Every parent wishes they could do better,” Bailey said. “I wish I could have been more patient. But I didn’t do too bad.”

“I had an awesome mother. I learned a lot from her, she was a good example of what a good mother is,” Bailey said. “She was the type of person who would let you have the last piece of apple pie. I am not that good. I would eat the last piece,” he said.

Bailey's mother passed away from cancer in 1988 before any of his children were born. So, he didn’t have help from a grandmother. But Bailey’s father helped out with the extras he couldn’t afford to buy with just one income, like swing sets, bicycles and even cars.

Bailey said his daughter has recently moved out to her own place, but comes home most weekends for a visit.

“I want my kids to know that they are loved and I may not agree with their choices, but they can always come home.”

“My dad has done an awesome job,” Allison Bailey said. “It’s difficult to be single parent, whether it’s a mother or father.

“It’s not easy to put anyone above yourself.”