First, I’d like to thank the Boothbay Register for not kicking me off these pages for over 8 years. THANK YOU.

Here’s to many more years without pissing you off, and my checks not bouncing.

The January Newsletter is mostly just a weak re-hashing of last year’s regrettable newsletters, although The Harbor Dogs’ Stories is new this month and a couple other things are new. Here’s the breakdown:

INTRODUCTIONS:

• Hej svenskar! - June
• An Ode to Wasting 40 Years of My Life on Frivolity - June
• I Spy With My Little Eye: My Colonoscopy - July
• Goodnight Teddy Spaghetti - April
• A short History of the Prettiest Parking Lot in Maine - August
• The December Challenge - December

WE LOVE HATE MAIL:

• Going Postal - February
• Judy - September
• Rapid Fire Round - October

THE COAL SHACK (COUPONS FOR THESE ITEMS ARE VALID IN JANUARY):

• Maine Rap Stuff (Code: BANGTOWN)
• No-Hides (Code: ROSEFROGSPANKING)
• Sea Jerky (Code: FLOPPY)
• Chicken Hearts (Code: ZOUNDS)
• Moose Antlers (Code: LOUDLY)

SNIFFIN’ AROUND:

The News from Mars in Swedish

Dachshund on Duty (April Fools)

THE HARBOR DOGS’ STORIES (NEW!):

A recap of all 2023 Stories, and the new one for 2024!

January 2024 - THE LAST OF THE GREATS - by Auggie
Subject: Auggie reminisces about all the dogs he has seen come and go from Chez Salty.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/augustus-last-of-the-greats-by-auggie

January - DOG TREATMENT IN THIS GIMCRACK TOWN - by Auggie
Subject: Auggie rates local Boothbay Region businesses on their free dog treats.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/dog-treatment-in-this-gimcrack-town-by-auggie/

February - WHY BIPEDS CRY - by Fudgie
Subject: To have loved and lost the best snow tunnel ever......
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/why-bipeds-cry-by-marz/

March - EIGHT BASTS BEHAVING BADLY - by Don
Subject: Don exposes everyone and everydog's worst moments.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/eight-beasts-behaving-badly-by-don/

April - GOODBYE TEDDY SPAGHETTI - by Don
Subject: My feelings on losing Teddy - our 3rd loss in 3 years.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/goodnight-teddy-spaghetti/

May - MAN BITES MAN AND OTHER CODSWALLOP - by Auggie
Subject: Auggie details everything and everyone he would bite given a chance, including Tom Scandoval
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/man-bites-man-and-dog-and-other-codswallop/

June - EARNEST RUGBY DOG - by Marz
Subject: Marz goes to Doggie Daycare for the first time.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/earnest-rugby-dog-by-marz/

July - AUGUST ADVICE - by Auggie
Subject: Auggie informs all his inferiors how to straighten out their pathetic canine lives.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/august-advice-by-auggie/

August - RETAILERS ANONYMOUS - by Don
Subject: Don joins a support group to deal with the all the idiots that come in the shop.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/retailers-anonymous-by-don/

September - THE BIGGEST JOLLY BALL EVER!! - by Marz
Subject: Marz finds a huge mooring ball at the beach and drags it up to the cabin.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/all-my-balls/

October - BIRD TOWN - by Don
Subject: The Shop is under assault by birds and the people who "love" them.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/bird-town-by-don/

November - MUSTS & CAN'TS - by Don
Subject: What all members of Chez Salty expect in a short-term rental.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/musts-cants-by-don/

December - THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!! - by Fudgie
Subject: Marz turns two and eats more cake than Marie Antoinette on a suicide binge.
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/the-best-birthday-ever-by-marz/

OR JUST READ THE NEWEST 2024 NEWSLETTER HERE: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-january-2024-7226184

CLICK HERE TO HAVE YOUR DIAPER CHANGED AND SUBSCRIBE TO OUR MONTHLY TRAVESTY, YOU LITTLE BABY: https://us8.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=0e5740287c6b4fe45247c8351&id=315369d469