Come on, let’s see how big a man you are. How much can you drink? How much razzing and abuse can you take?  How far can we push you before you break?

Sadly, these seem to be the messages being sent by fraternities on some college campuses today as they “break in’’ new pledges — put them through the ringer, make them “earn’’ the right to be “one of them.’’  In recent years we’ve learned, mostly through television, of hazing incidents which have gone terribly wrong such as the recent tragedy at Penn State.  More and more colleges and universities have established new, strict, rules because of past mistakes but how do we really stop it? After all, making some of the common practices illegal isn’t going to stop everybody.

Unfortunately, these hazing incidents reflect some of the thinking of today’s society. If you can’t hold your liquor, stand abuse, both verbal and physical, you’re not really a man. How sad.  Peer pressure has gotten out of hand. It’s not only hazing incidents which showcase this, but scores of other everyday events apparently designed to convince our young people that to measure up, they must meet certain standards even if they aren’t their own. Binge drinking has cost more than one young person his or her life.

It’s not just males, either, who feel they must try to “fit in.’’ Females are sometimes under the same gun, and the need to please others and  be accepted, be it in a sorority or in the classroom, on a sports team, in a club, or simply eating lunch in the cafeteria,  is driving many young people to do dangerous things.

We hope that all of the focus on these incidents will help us as a society learn that no individual should have to “prove’’ himself or herself by fitting into a certain mold which others have established. We’re all entitled to be our own person and be treated with respect.