Knock, knock.

Who’s there ...

Orange.

Orange who ...

Orange you going to help Woolwich use up its trash bags from pay-as-you-throw?

With fall coming up, they could be multi-functional: When the leaves fall, leaf bags! At Halloween, a pumpkin costume! (For a noisy pumpkin, add leaves.) So “Woolwich” is printed on the bag. You’ll be a Woolwich or Sagadahoc pumpkin.

And ... wait for it ... in winter, use scissors to undo all but one of a bag’s edges, make a fold-and-cut snowflake, intricate, to maximize the number of holes. Repeat with several more bags. Attach one to the next with duct tape (preferably orange) to form a single row and, viola! Snow fence. Whatever happened to those, anyway?

Add visibility to your snowshoeing or cross-country skiing outfit. (For a snow tube, add leaves.)

It’s never to soon to think ahead to spring. When schools have field days and summer brings family reunions, make your sack races, orange bag races!

Why the pitch for taking Woolwich officials up on their buy-10-rolls-get-one-free deal? Three reasons: One, free is good. Two, the bags are U.S.-made. And three, we think Solid Waste and Recycling Committee member Don Adams has a point in Phil Di Vece’s front page story this week on the surplus sale. Adams notes Woolwich taxpayers already had to buy the bags from WasteZero. He thinks the bags should be free to residents.

Someday, in a perfect world, there will be no trash bags, for there will be no trash. Everything will be recyclable, because we’ll stop using, and needing, things that aren’t.

With all the political acrobatics that will require, however, Woolwich, with its cartons of bags in the town office basement and elsewhere, can probably rest assured people will keep needing trash bags for some time.

Woolwich officials confirmed non-residents can buy, too. So let’s be neighborly. Make orange the new green, by contributing our trash bag-buying dollars to Woolwich’s solid waste and recycling coffers. Go orange! (If using as a rain poncho or windbreaker at a Wolverines sporting event, tape over the first W in Woolwich, then paint bag red, black and white. Remove tape.) Do not reuse for trash. The arm and neck holes would defeat it; more importantly, Wiscasset Transfer Station Superintendent Ron Lear informs us that red is for biohazards, such as a hospital would have.

Lear said orange trash bags, with or without Woolwich on them, are okay.