Children’s lives are spent learning. As students, it’s the “3 R’s,” making friends and trying to fit in, homework. Some children also must cope with teasing, bullying and just not fitting in. Their personal lives can be complicated by dealing with parental separation and divorce; and financial issues that stress out the entire family. For students living in households of abuse and neglect, life is overwhelming.

According to Maine law, “Abuse or neglect means a threat to a child's health or welfare by physical, mental, or emotional injury or impairment, sexual abuse or exploitation ... deprivation of essential needs or lack of protection from these; or failure to ensure compliance with school attendance requirements.”

While children are at school, teachers, administrators, coaches and counselors have their backs.

Schools and medical personnel are the top two mandatory reporters of possible child abuse in Maine. According to the 2015 Child Protective Services annual report, schools represented the highest percentage of calls, 19 percent, to the Department of Health and Human Services.

Reports to school principals also come from outside sources — community members, such as a scout leader or employer; a neighbor, family members not living in the same household as the child, or a family friend.

September through June, kids spend most of their waking hours at school. Relationships between students, and students and teachers, begin from the moment they walk into a classroom for the first time. Students also develop relationships with school counselors, athletic coaches, and administrators over time. These relationships play a major role in protecting students from potential harm and in the school’s ability to intervene on a student’s behalf.

The protocol followed at schools in the Boothbay region – Boothbay Region Elementary (BRES), Boothbay Region High (BRHS), Southport Central, and Edgecomb Eddy – when child abuse, neglect, or both are suspected varies slightly, depending on the age of the student.

“We try to establish quality relationships with our students because that, first and foremost, is our number one line of defense in helping to identify a student experiencing any form of abuse or neglect,” said BRHS Principal Dan Welch.

Relationships are built in a number of ways. Through the advisor-advisee program at BRHS, the objective is building those relationships. Advisors have 10-12 students each year. Welch said it’s important for students to have at least one adult in the school they connect with — a teacher, a guidance counselor, a coach, and sometimes it’s been Welch.

Students meet with their advisor every day for four years during study hall. As Welch noted, the teachers may change, but the advisor is the constant. Through the advisor-advisee program, the groups spend time talking, having lunch, or participating in some form of community service together. Advisors also lead discussions about what healthy relationships are and what to do if someone is in a non-healthy relationship.

Welch holds a monthly service provider’s meeting attended by school social workers, Allan Crocker, and, if appropriate, Police (and School Resource) Officer Larry Brown of the Boothbay Harbor Police Department, to talk about any student or students each of the providers may have concerns about.

“Maybe a student has recently been missing a lot of school, their grades are dropping; or a student may suddenly be distracted, or sometimes it’s something so subtle that tells you something is off with them ...,” Welch said. “Sometimes others around the table have made similar observations about a student.”

Welch may reach out to the parent or parents, grandparent(s), or other guardian of the student to try to get them more involved in the student’s school life. Sometimes he works on connecting the student and his or her family, with social or mental health services, or both. And, when it’s appropriate, having the student talk with Brown.

“But, if we have any indication, whatsoever, that there is abuse and neglect going on, the protocol is very clear cut,” Welch stated. “Anybody who works at BRHS who has been told something or observed something about a student must tell me immediately. Then I have 24 hours, but I never wait that long, to notify DHHS or the district attorney (depending on the circumstances).”

Welch and BRES Principal Mark Tess appreciatively acknowledged the role of LincolnHealth in assisting the schools in getting the mental health services students and, sometimes the families, need.

“At a principal’s conference two years ago we devoted the entire spring conference to student mental health needs, training … ,” shared Welch. “So many students are struggling with anxiety, depression, and things like that. If you’re worried about having enough to eat you’re not going to be focused in the classroom. We find a way to inform staff about a student having a hard time — without relating any of the particulars involved. Everyone needs to be on deck to help get the student through. Maybe that means not worrying so much about academics for the moment but making sure we are giving support.”

At the high school level, Welch said a concerned friend often comes forward to say a friend has told them “such and such is going on.” Welch always  assures that friend that the information they have shared will be taken very seriously.

“I encourage the friend to just be there, to listen,” said Welch. “Sometimes teenagers take things on themselves and they feel responsible for people; it’s important for them to know that they can’t fix this for their friend, but what they can do is be there for them.”

Sexual Assault Support Services of Midcoast Maine (SASSMM) visits BRHS two or three times a year to educate the student body. And Welch has had The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) conduct an eight-hour training regarding youth mental health first aid during one of the teacher in-service days. Welch said training such as this helps school personnel recognize signs of domestic violence, abuse and neglect.

“Because we’re a small school we know our kids and we can usually tell when something is going on. It’s all about developing those relationships with them.”

BRES, Southport and Edgecomb

At BRES, relationship-building includes the students getting to know school guidance counselors Kim Dionne (K-4) and Sarah Gordon (grades five through eight) through the weekly visits each of the counselor makes to the classrooms of students they serve. Dionne and Gordon teach kids about preventative action regarding personal body safety. In October, they focus on friendship and bullying, and personal, social interactions. And they just talk, sometimes during the classroom visits or while having lunch with the kids.

At BRES, concerns about a student are heard first by Tess. The second step in determining what may be happening in a student’s life is a meeting/interview with the appropriate school guidance counselor.

“With the little ones it’s (these situations) all so confusing,” Dionne said. “We build relationships so it’s not some strange person asking them questions. We’ll read and talk about the story together, and I’ll say something like ‘So, you haven’t been acting like yourself lately, what’s going on?’ But there is never any grilling. Never.”

During a child interview, Dionne may read a book with a story the child may identify with. She may engage them in conversation while playing with puppets, or the dollhouse. Dionne also has a very large white magic marker board she and students use for drawing and coloring.

Gordon engages with the fifth to eighth graders in a forthright manner. “I try to be very transparent about why the child is visiting with me,” Gordon explained. “I’ll say something like, ‘I’ve heard there are some problems at your house and I’d like to talk with you about it. Is that OK?’ I’ll tell the child that we are concerned about what’s happening at home.”

Gordon is also very upfront about confidentiality and the three possible situations that she is mandated to share. “You want the child to trust you and you don’t want to betray that trust after the fact. I tell them that if they are being hurt, if they might hurt themselves – or someone else, I will need to tell someone else.”

Gordon and Dionne both emphasize that part of their job is working with, and getting to know, the kids in the classrooms, and for the students to get to know them.

“It can be pretty awkward talking to a counselor you know about something so personal; the relationships we build in the classroom help in these situations,” Gordon said. “Particularly when you are asking about the family secret that’s not supposed to be talked about.”

Gordon, too, has a treasure trove of toys, puzzles, coloring books, books, Rubic’s cubes, and other things to be doing with the child while talking.

Tess calls SASSMM his “go to” organization for teacher, staff and administration training (as part of their professional development) during meetings. SASSM also visits the student body three times a year to present a puppet show for Pre-K through grade three and other forms of programming for grades four through eight.

“If I was concerned about a child going home I would call Police (and School Resource) Officer Larry Brown whose help has been huge for us,” said Tess. “Even if he’s not on duty, Larry will come in and help us out.”

For example, if there is a concern about a child going home to a dangerous situation, Tess will call Brown who will go to the home for a wellness check before school is dismissed. And while it hasn’t happened often, there have been times in Tess’ over 20-plus years as principal when, “ … we have driven a child, and sometimes the mother, to the hospital or a shelter.”

Like Tess, over the course of her years as principal at Edgecomb Eddy School, Lisa Clarke has made calls to DHHS and/or law enforcement “as necessary.” Now principal at Southport Central School, Clarke said, “Sometimes it's not always crystal clear that a child is unsafe. When we are made aware, or suspect any type of violence or unsafe behavior involving a child, we must act swiftly.

“If it is felt that a child is in imminent danger, he or she would be kept at school or turned over to law enforcement rather than sent to a potentially unsafe environment. I always prefer to err on the side of caution and let DHHS, Child Protective Services, and/or law enforcement determine how to follow up on any information shared with them.”

A resource for school administrators, teachers and guidance counselors is Mary Hanley, a community educator for New Hope For Women. Hanley visited Southport Central School early in the school year to talk about healthy relationships with the students in kindergarten through grade six. Clarke has discussed bringing SASSMM to Southport Central with the school guidance counselor at the school as Clark did in Edgecomb.

“I wholeheartedly agree that in small schools we all get to know all of the children quite well. At Southport, we share concerns and/or observations with other staff members and determine next steps,” Clarke said. “These next steps might be to call others, such as a school counselor or social worker, who may work with that child and be able to help identify how best to proceed, and if making a call to authorities is advised.”

At Edgecomb Eddy, Guidance Counselor Haley Bezon teaches children about boundaries, appropriate interactions and the importance of each child having an adult in the school they trust and can talk to.

“Our job is to build strong relationships with the students,” Bezon said. “We need to do our due diligence and establish trust and relationships with them.”

Principal Ira Michaud said questions can also arise when a significant change in behavior is observed by a teacher, the school nurse, or administrators.

If abuse or neglect is suspected, the individual the child has spoken to – usually Bezon – informs Principal Ira Michaud. Bezon and Michaud would then work together to see if abuse or neglect is going on, to determine if a report to DHHS was warranted. Michaud said if such a call was necessary, he would also inform the  superintendent of schools a report was needed.

“It’s a very confusing topic for them,” Bezon said. “It’s their family. We talk about good secrets and bad secrets; sometimes they talk through writing or drawing. Without judgment we create a space for them to process what is happening to them.”

If there is strong evidence of abuse or neglect, Bezon said she will call DHHS.

Bezon stressed that following up with the child is important. “It’s not usually one isolated incident. The abuse or neglect has been woven into what is normal.”

“People care about kids,” Michaud said. “And if they see something that concerns them, they will reach out.”