Dear Editor:

Our friends on the extreme right wing have identified a mental condition that afflicts tens of millions of Americans: Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). This disease will be epidemic for the next six months.

In the meantime, forensic pathologists have discovered its root cause: Mindless Enthusiasm and Support Syndrome (MESS). It broke out among the crowd lining a gilded Manhattan escalator in 2015 and has spread rapidly to a very noisy and aggressive minority.

Despite previous attempts at a cure (Trump’s losses in the popular vote in 2016 and 2020, two impeachments, the suppression of his coup attempt in 2021, midterm election losses in 2022, 91 criminal indictments in 2023, and two convictions — so far — in 2024), it still infects anti-vaxxers and conspiracy theorists who suffer delirium and an angry red rash, especially in the American South.

The vaccine will be available in early November 2024, free of charge, at polling booths throughout the country. Like measles, rubella, and polio, TDS and the Trump-induced MESS can be eliminated in the United States with proper treatment.

Bill Hammond

Boothbay